The other day, a good friend of mine asked how I was doing with my recent major life transition—that is, going from the world of doctoring to being a stay-at-home mom. She wasn’t alone in asking that question, because since making that decision, I’ve been asked quite frequently, in some form or other, if I’m happy with my decision, or if I have any regrets. Truth be told, I question what I did daily.
These thoughts often come about after I’ve spent the last hour doing something seemingly mindless, like singing kiddie songs and doing the actions like a crazy woman while Micah just stares and laughs, or something even more simple like cleaning the toilet. Sometimes the question(s) I ask myself are “Is this what I’ll be spending my days doing now?,” or “Am I living up to my potential?”, or simply “What the heck am I doing?!?” We’re often told by society that, as women, the ideal is to be able to do it all: have the perfect career while effortlessly managing a home life and raising kids. Did I fail because I didn’t do it all? Is a mom all I was meant to be?
Whenever doubts like these enter my mind, I’m always reminded of what Micah’s life might’ve been like if I hadn’t made the decision to stay home. He’d probably be sitting at some day care until 6 PM every day (doing who knows what), being watched by someone who wasn’t personally invested in him, and seeing his mom basically one day out of every week. Moreover, I think of all the awesome memories we’ve made already in just his first 6 months of life—memories that would’ve been impossible to make had I been at work. Even more than these things though, whenever questions arise, I remember that I’m exactly where I need to be because God said so.
Remember that house we renovated during my pregnancy and labor? Well, we ended up selling it after the renter at our other property bailed, and we were unable to cover two mortgages. I often wonder what the point was of making that investment if we weren’t able to turn the profit we had hoped for. The answer? The true investment was in our son. Sure, if I was working, we might have been able to cover both mortgages until we found another renter. However, if I was working, I wouldn’t be able to be the mom I want to be to him. I wouldn’t have been there to feed him his first foods, I wouldn’t be able to see his smiling face every morning, I wouldn’t get to so frequently enjoy his wet, slobbery kisses, and so much more. So, do I question my decision? Sometimes, yes. Do I regret it? Not one bit.
Wondering why I made the decision to say home in the first place? Find out here.
Ever had any regrets or doubts about a decision you’ve made? Comment below, I’d love to hear about it!